Things I Accidently Taught Myself While Teaching Kids

There are a lot of times during speech sessions I will be working with a child and make a passing statement to them that causes me to think, "Man. I think I meant to tell myself that."

Here's a list of semi-profound statements I have accidentally made while working on some kind of mundane puzzle that made me stop and think.


"That piece doesn't go there. You can't force it to fit. If you push too hard, the whole thing might break apart."
Say hello to the queen of, "I am going to force this to work and if it doesn't, I will just keep trying."

"You're not using your thinking brain." 
When am I ever using my thinking brain?

"You need to wait."
Why wait when I can exhaust myself by doing anything in my power to force something to come to fruition?

"Just because we are scared of something doesn't mean there is something to be scared of."
I am the adult version of the little girl who is scared to use the other toilet in the adjoining room because one time it made a really loud noise that scared me sh*tless. No pun intended.

"Sometimes friends don't want to share or play with us, and that makes us sad. That's okay. We can find something different to do that is just as fun."
It's okay to be bummed out when people don't share our passions for things. Do your own thing and the people who think you're super awesome will support you in what you love.

"I need you to calm down and then use your words, please."
The best way to be heard: express your needs simply and concisely when you achieve a moment of clarity following an emotional experience.

"What's important in this picture? Is it this tree? Or this person in the middle."
What's really important in this situation you've somehow managed to blow out of proportion? Are you focusing on a tree in the background when the main idea is right in front of you?


We all still have lessons to learn as adults. I'm sure I heard these very things at one point in my childhood. I'm just thankful I get to hear them again, because they still make me stop and think.

Is there anything you say to your kids that you are really saying to yourself?

There is nothing wrong with you.

I am going to try and tie this post into something speech-related so it makes sense in the context of this blog; however I believe this applies to the much bigger picture we're all familiar with known as life.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Ah, perfectionism. Being a perfectionist has its pros and cons.

The pros include always striving for the best version of yourself and striving to view yourself analytically.

The cons include always striving for the best version of yourself and striving to view yourself analytically.

Yes, these are both good and bad things in my opinion, simultaneously.

I grew up in a household that sought to make me feel accepted and loved for who I was, but at the same time never hesitated to point out where I feel short. Constructive criticism, you may say. But it instilled in me a very real sense that unless I attempted to alter myself in certain ways, I would not be deserving of love. Or support. Or acceptance. This is an exhausting, mental juxtoposition, one that the Christian faith attempts to soften with the concept of grace.

Society tells us to love ourselves for who we are but to never stop striving to better ourselves. When are you, as is, enough?

All I ever needed to know was that even if I didn't change, even if I didn't do this one thing, I would be loved and life would not cease to be fulfilling.

I had a youth pastor growing up who said something to me that has always remained lodged in my heart and has been a comfort in the face of such pressure.

He said, "There is nothing you can do to make God love you more than he does right now."

My friends, there is nothing wrong with you.

You are a human, and being human is hard. We have not been put here not to torture ourselves with internal and external pressures but to rest in the grace that God offers that says we are enough. 

We beat ourselves up for lack of achievements but hey, you are still living! You are still working at this thing called life! And God has not forgotten you.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with formulating and working towards goals. That is an integral part of my life as an SLP.

But when those goals become so significant that they cloud our ability to appreciate ourselves for who we are today, I think it's time to sit back and rest in the knowledge that you will never be the best. Or the worst. And no one expects you or thinks you to be either. It really doesn't matter.

Happiness matters. You matter. So before you internalize outside pressures or expectations, sit back and remind yourself that the only one putting that pressure on you is you.

I am seeking to live life in balance. And I believe remembering that regardless of whether you got that workout in, or felt like you blew that evaluation or session, you are simply human. Which is nothing to be ashamed of.

There is nothing wrong with you.

"...i mean really. what is the the thing you are good at? what's your thing? what's the thing you use to make you feel like you're great? take it away, do you still think you're great? because you are." - jillian edwards chapman (http://ifyoufeellikereadingit.blogspot.com)

The Power of Words

Today I wanted to touch on one of the most important lessons that I think exists in regards to language. It has a little to do with vocabulary, or word choice. A little more so with pragmatics. But it has everything to do with heart. And intention. The power of words.

So often we SLPs are working with children whose verbal capabilities are struggling to keep up with their mental processes and desires to communicate. For these children, speech and language is limited. But we still try to teach them that there is power in their words, that their words AFFECT others. And affect themselves. Communicative intent, anyone? Point + cookie = receiving cookie. Mama + arm = Mama attending to a hurt elbow.

But why don't we start teaching this lesson explicitly, especially to our children who have age-appropriate and higher-level verbal abilities? And why do some adults seem to lack understanding or empathy towards this concept? That is, you carry a dangerous weapon with you at all times. One must be careful to wield the gift of speech and language carefully, because words are powerful.

One of my favorite quotes is by Taylor Swift. I know what you're thinking but hang tight with me on this one. It says:

"Words can breaks someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together again. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone."

If there is anything I have learned in my journey as a speech-pathologist, is that speech and language is a gift never to be taken for granted. Those of us who have the ability to communicate must be taught that these words have amazing power:

They can:
- Compliment.
- Encourage.
- Comfort.
- Assist.
- Engage in debate.
- Give perspective.
- Accept.
- Reject.
- Communicate who we are as individuals.

Conversely, they can also:
- Criticize.
- Bully.
- Test.
- Highlight other's weakest points.
- Mock.
- Shame.

We are sometimes so concerned with communicating what's going on inside our heads that we pick the most effective and cutting words possible, for convenience sake. Instead of taking the time to use the right words, we say what we "feel". Because "free speech", right? The results are not pretty.

And the best part is, once you say something, it can NEVER be taken back! Isn't that fun, I tell my kids. Sure, you can apologize, and hope that person forgets. But that ship has sailed. So live in the pause. And think about the power of your words, before you just go swinging that thing around willy-nilly.

Words are capable of expressing an infinite number of emotions, thoughts, and ideas. But the way in which we choose to wield this sword says a lot about who we are.

Please consider taking a moment listening to this song. It summarizes all of the above.

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Also, speaking of teaching our little ones, I would like to hook you guys up with one of the BEST general ed teachers I know and one of my oldest and dearest friends, Shannon, over at The Diary of a Nerdy Teacher. Her posts are full of of cute and practical classroom and curriculum ideas, many that I have thought would be great to integrate in a speech room, as well.

Check her out and some of her awesome freebies in her Teachers Pay Teacher's store!

Encouraging Strong Social-Emotional Development

Today I'd like to bring to you a list of some of the best parenting articles and links that I have found in regards to encouraging strong social-emotional development, also tying into behavior management. I find many of these tips helpful for me as a pediatric professional as I work with many children who lack a strong sense of self and are not able to communicate their inner thoughts effectively. This list will be added to as time goes on.

1) The Twin Coach: The Power That Words Have: Strengthening Your Child's Inner Voice

2) Effective Parenting 101

3) Public Discipline/Shaming