5 Things That Are Limiting Your Child's Progress in Therapy

As a speech-language pathologist in home-health, I have spent a significant amount of time with kids from a variety of backgrounds. All of my families are different in terms of social-economic backgrounds and I've spent times in homes where I've spent thirty minutes shooing away cockroaches and thirty minutes marveling at the beauty of homes grander than my own tiny, yet well-loved apartment. However, there are a few things that remain true across the board- for one, all parents want their child to make progress in therapy, and there are a few, stand-out "obvious" ways to facilitate this: for example, regular attendance! However, I've begun to rack up a few not-so-obvious factors that may seem minor but I have found have a MAJOR impact on a child's ability to participate and benefit from therapy.

1) HAIR. HAIR EVERYWHERE. 

This goes for mainly my little girls, but if you have a child who already struggles with sustained attention and is easily distracted both in life and especially in therapy, I recommend doing a one-over before therapy starts and making sure there is nothing on their PERSON that could potentially add to the list of distractions. Hair is first on the list. Making sure their hair is either tied back or in general, not hanging in their field of vision. I can't tell you how many times I have had kiddos with the cutest but longest hair cuts who are distracted by trying to look at me through their hair or constantly re-adjusting it throughout the session. Ponytails and trimmed bangs are my best suggestions! I keep an extra ponytail holder on hand for occasions such as this.

2) CLOTHES THAT ARE EITHER TOO WARM OR TOO COOL, OR DISTRACTING IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER.

Going back to a one-over on clothing- it seems obvious, but if children are too hot or cold during a session, especially those who may be less verbal/communicative and can't TELL you their uncomfortable, they may become agitated, whiny, and/or easily distracted during therapy. I understand laundry days, and some times it's just about wearing what's clean, but if parents can help it, I recommend SEASONALLY-APPROPRIATE CLOTHING, based on the outside temperature not just how it feels in the AC. Also, therapy days may not be the best day to let little Sally Sue wear her favorite new shoes that can be velcro-ed and re-velcroed and taken off by her independently multiple times, or the shirt with doo-dads on the bottom. I have kindly confiscated shoes, for the sake of child's attention and progress in therapy that session, given the parent's permission. :)

3) BACKGROUND NOISE/ENVIRONMENTAL DISTRACTIONS.

Now is not the time for doing the dishes. Loudly. Or having the television on at a even a moderate volume, especially if it's a show the child likes and even if it is in a nearby room. Kids will CRANE their necks to see what's on the screen. Also, for children with autism or sensory processing disorder, any small, auditory or visual distraction can be a hindrance; i.e., the sound of the washing machine/dryer, someone getting themselves a cup of ice, or sibling shrieking down the hallway. While a quiet playroom is often an optimal therapy space, sometimes too many toys can be a visual distraction and prevent the child from focusing on what the therapist has for them that day. The best place for therapy is a quiet, calm setting, and although I am all too-aware as a home-health therapist sometimes siblings and noise are just part of the deal, minimizing distractions in anyway possible is going to ensure a better outcome overall.

4) SLEEP.

I don't know about you, but if I went to bed at 2am, and had to get up at 8am in order to participate in therapy (which I have) I would be one unhappy camper. Beyond general grumpiness, I would also display some level of slowed, cognitive function- lack of alertness, ability to attend to sustained tasks, and difficulty with memory retention; in this case, those vocabulary words and language concepts we work so hard to master!

In other words, when kids haven't had enough sleep, they simply aren't ready to learn nor are they able to benefit from what therapy has to offer them in the most optimal way. Parents- if your child is having trouble getting on a sleep schedule or is experiencing medical issues that prevents them from sleeping soundly through the night, please ask your speech therapist or doctor regarding possible forms of intervention.

5) CONSISTENCY IN PROMPTING YOUR CHILD OUTSIDE OF SPEECH.

Last but not least, and in fact, perhaps the most CRUCIAL thing in ensuring your child makes progress in speech, is to follow-through on your therapist's recommendations OUTSIDE of speech. Most children only receive therapy two times per week for 30-45 minutes, and this is LITERALLY 1% (0.01339...you get the picture. And yes I did the math) of your child's total waking hours in a given week. It may be a pain in the behind, but the greatest thing you can do for your child's success is to make consistency king. Prompt them to tell you about what you all are doing that afternoon, using their verbs or their target sounds, or whatever their goals may be. Work on these skills at least 50% of the time and your child will progress much faster during their 1% of therapy time per week. 

God, sometimes I feel like you can't hear me. This is me by the way, talking in my own way and without the fancy grammar that makes me feel more spiritual. A part of me feels like this is all a big joke, a big joke you are playing on me, and makes me want to run so fast. I am scared of never feeling big enough to be worthy in his eyes of taking the things that hurt me truly to heart. I hate the way I measure the days and to me a "good day" is one in which I was snapped at minimally and/or got a lot accomplished. I hate that this is a primary focus for me, and a relationship that makes me feel wonderfully valued and loved but the next second makes me feel oh so small. It is so hard because I feel like he can't hear me! I am so sick of saying stop it, trying to teach a grown adult why it is especially important that he, among other people, talk to me respectfully. I think mostly I am tired of caring, and so sad that I chase this affirmation and consistency with idolatrous perseverance- except when I don't, except when I don't have to. I can see the progress but the struggle- I just want it to stop. It feels so ridiculous and I feel trapped. I am so wanting to have a baby but I am so scared. It irritates me to no end that I can be cuddled one minute and then talked to passive-agressively the next. I am so over the whiplash! The hardest part is that it is not severe like I know some people experience. I feel like I don't have a right to want out. And the truth is, I don't want out. I just want to be loved consistently and sacrificially. I am not quiet and meek and timid. And God I am so tired of guarding my heart. I wish he cared more about protecting it. There is so much going on in my world God- I give this over to you. I give you the future. I give you the trust that you will tell me what to do when I need to do it. I ask that you'll give me the strength, strength greater than I imagine but not allow me to be hurt the rest of my life in this way. I am asking you to continually change Jake's heart to be kind and empathetic. I ask that you will help me stand tall and strong and not allow me to be talked over or taken down. I pray that you will forgive me for the idol that this has been in my life and if this is a mental addiction or chemical process that you will intervene and remove the stress and the burden so I can be free. I pray that you will show me how to love fully but not to gain favor. To receive what is offered thankfully and be satisfied. Let my satisfaction be found in your truth and peace. I am only human and I can't imagine forever. It is a hard thing, to spend your twenties in this bittersweet place. Please sweeten this experience God, and make it something pleasurable and something I do not have to control or feel the need to orchestrate. I am so tired. Restore my energy and my hope and give me a warrior's heart.

5/25/16
Reading these words of mine was helpful just now, and it's hard to believe I was the one who wrote them. Over three months ago, but they still resonate with me strongly. Laying here on this cat hair-covered couch, with nothing but the sound of the AC blowing and my phone safely tucked away in another room where I cannot be controlled by its dings or lack thereof- I see it- the sign we hung up on the wall together to fill the massive cream-colored space. "You jump, I jump, Jack." And jump I did. Jump I continue to do. I'm still just as confused as I was three months ago, and question my sanity multiple times per day. But really- if someone were treating you poorly- would you not act a bit insane? Say things in desperation, desperate pleas that you just know if you get the words just right this time he'll understand- either fall flat or explode upon impact, knocking you back on the couch in tears. This is not how I thought this year would go. I am so thankful for the wonderful times but I find myself preparing more and more to have to make a hard decision. Stay with a person who loves me when it is easy and accept what I get or do not with no compliant (or if I do, arguments will undoubtedly ensue). Accept the passive-aggressiveness, the snide comments, the judgments. By staying I feel like that is me saying it's okay. Well the truth is, it's not okay. I'm not okay. But I will be okay. I will okay if he crawls back into bed next to me or if I find myself alone at 3am. My face may be wet with tears, but I will be okay.

6/20/15
Am I? What am I looking for? Am I just the worst wife ever and can't see it? I know myself enough to know there's no way I'm possibly the worst wife, and that I just love this man silly and would do whatever I could within my personal boundaries to make him happy. Sometimes there's nothing to say but, I know it sucks. We'll get through. Sometimes I wonder how often he lies in bed and thinks about leaving. If he feels tortured. I certainly hope he doesn't. It's been a wild ride, and I know I am not the most emotionally level person but I do try to love other people well. I'm sorry if I fail. If I fail and you choose to give up on me, I will mourn that loss. I felt it a little bit today. It felt crushing, like watching pictures and videos in my mind smash to pieces, videos of things that haven't yet happened but play in my head just as life-like. Him holding our sweet baby. Birthday parties. The good stuff. Good stuff it's hard to imagine right now but stuff that still feels within reach. It does. God is not far, He is very near and the fact that he desires our holiness and growth more than our happiness is something I can't bear the weight of sometimes. Who doesn't want to be effusively happy, all the time? I think some of my friends are, I guess there's no way I could know that for sure. But anyways. I find happiness in the small moments, in the sweet smiles, my Starbucks, a song I haven't sung in awhile. It's very hard not to feel consumed. To stop chasing perfection and allow a marriage to have its dips and lows. To let things work out how they do. I just want to take every day and make it the best day ever. Most days don't turn out that way, but some do. And that's why I press on. That's why I will continue to open my eyes in the morning and find purpose in my job, in being the person God has called me to, being the wife, the friend and the cat mom I'm supposed to become. This prayer/verse will be in my heart this week:

  "I will give them singleness of heart and action so that they will always fear Me and all will go well for them and for their children after them." - Jeremiah 32:39

Give ME also singleness of heart and action, to pursue YOU above all things.

8/19/16
Irreconcilable differences. I used to think that was code for "we just gave up", or "we just didn't try hard enough". What I'm starting to realize is, most people fight pretty freaking hard for their marriage. Sometimes it may feel like only one is fighting, but it's possible both people may have different ideas of what that looks like. To some, passivity, or expecting it to "all come out in the wash", is the answer. Some fight diligently with their marriage blogs and attempts at just one more late-night conversation, hoping that will be the one that brings clarity and light to a dark and endless situation. It's really not my place to judge whether someone else is "trying" or not, but I can say that empathy may be the only thing that keeps marriages from dissolving into a puddle of differences you just can't reconcile. When there's a difference you just can't reconcile and you choose to throw up your hands and say, "Whatever. I just can't deal," that seems to be the fork in the road. I would like to deal. I would like to know my options. I would like to not have to make a hard call to be away from my husband because I simply can't "deal" with his lack of empathy and excuses for insensitive and rude behavior. There have been a lot of changes recently and I have been trying to deal, to reconcile. But I am losing steam and I cannot stand coldness. So I perk up. Put a smile on my face. Vow to act normal. Act like everything's fine, and it will be. It works a little bit. But I start feeling sick by the end of the day. I just want to go back to last Friday at 5pm. When everything still felt like home. But then again, things were still the way they are now, just with pretty flowers planted over some lies I buried along with his negligence and anger. Now I'm in the mud, having dug up those flowers, and it's raining and it's coming down like the tears on my face I just can't seem to cry since this all started. What does broken look like, and how does it look different than "so broke you can't fix it-broken"?

10/25
Months and months have passed. I am 27, and in the second year of my marriage. The second year so far has been harder than the first. Every day this is hard. At least lately. I am so confused, so frustrated, and yet apparently so resilient that after 5-15 minutes of feelings these things I'm practically as good as new. Until the next thing happens, and I am angry, teary-eyed and ready to walk out. In the words of Kuzco, "What is holding this woman together?" To be honest, it's Starbucks. Lots and lots of Starbucks and Jesus.

11/13
Kind of nice to see some space between my posts, to know that there's been enough good to push some space between the times I feel driven here to pour all my feelings out. Sometimes I feel very trapped in my own head. The memories of things that were painful and confusing about our dating relationship sometimes feel very long ago and foreign but all it takes is a small criticism- offering to take me shopping to amend for my need for better workout clothes so HE feels more motivated, or not laughing at my attempt to be silly/funny, and my heart is back there again feeling it ALL. The thing is, I don't expect him to understand what that's like. All I know is I've been to hell and back. Fought for this relationship, stood up for myself and sometimes I'm just tired of standing up for myself. I get tired of saying the words, "This hurts," and being greeted by closed eyes and a dismissive "whatever" kind of nod in a not-so-specific kind of I-hear-you kind of way. I ask Jesus to speak to his heart for me, because His words are so much better than anything I could ever conjure up. I know feelings are only feelings, and not always reflective of reality. I have to remember that. I have to remember that today is not then, and I did not marry the same man I dated. I get scared though that that man is still somewhere in there though and would betray me, unravel all the good he did n building me back up, re-affirming his unconditional love for me only to draw it into question and undermine my self-esteem. He doesn't realize that's what those moments, those statements do. But what I know I cannot do, is let it cloud my perception of our marriage in general. That I am married to cold, and emotionally-abusive man who does not care. He may make mistakes, but he is not that man anymore. Our life is not awkward, it is beautiful. I shouldn't fear going on long drives together, or going shopping. It is ridiculous that our relationship has resulted in those dynamics. My greatest frustration is that he doesn't see why I would feel anxiety in regards to those things but who cares? It's very real to me. And I've had it. Weed made it very easy for everything to be easy. But then again, it didn't. I'm careful not to, what's the word- idealize the positives that marijuana provided our marriage. Because it ruined it before it ever started. Before we even started dating. I guess at the end of this post, I just realize I need to relax. Feelings are often just feelings but if you act as if they are true then reality often takes their shape. I don't want that. Dear Lord, breathe life and self-awareness. Gentleness, and self-control into this home. Desires to bless and not hurt one another. Strength and confidence, ERADICATE FEAR. Eradicate intimidation. Let Satan's plans against us and my heart not prosper. Stand watch over my heart and remind me it's okay. I'm okay. Things are okay.

11/21
I know I'm not perfect. But I also know I shouldn't be "punished" for every mistake I do make. He doesn't know the way I've cried and prayed and fought for this marriage- for him. How hard I've worked to believe in the person he can be. How every time my soul, head, and heart spoke poorly of him, the Holy Spirit...or maybe it's just the ever-present optimist in me...has said, oh no. Don't go down that path. Focus on the good. There is good here and what you focus on becomes reality in many ways. Tonight I was rejected because of a certain behavior on my part that apparently swung a day-long attempt by me to facilitate intimacy completely the other way. I'm saddened but okay, because I know there are other days. I think the hardest thing is the way I try so hard to be forgiving...and move on and LOVE through the pain I am caused at times but when I cause it, man. I really did it this time. Gotta give her the cold shoulder for at least 5-10 minutes. Or the rest of the evening. Call the whole thing off. I'm really a bad wife and I don't care about him at all and man all I care about is getting what I need. I sure do care about what he needs. What he wants me to do in some cases I cannot- and that is speaking out on things that bother me. Now lately, I'll admit, I could hold my tongue a bit to spare an argument. Earlier I could've as well, but my comment was made kindly and gently. It's 12am, and I feel like he blew up my request into an excuse to be able to sleep. Whatever. I just know I'm not the bad guy. I'm not the victim either. But why do I always feel like the captain of the ship? When all I want to be is the best friend of the captain, or his co-pilot? Maybe I'm afraid that if I stop trying, we'll sink. And then it will be my fault. I don't think he knows how much I have kept us afloat. Times I could've, maybe should've walked out. And equally, times he chose to stay, and give me a second chance in my rage and past hurts showing their ugly faces. Marriage is certainly not what I thought it would be, but is ours disappointing in the ways people speak about it? Or dysfunctional? I don't know. We certainly feel like best friends and lovers some days and then others are closer to enemies. It's not a fun path. It's been worth it in many ways. I love this man I do, but I sure wish he could see me more clearly. I feel stupid for investing so much time in this post. And perhaps stupid for spending so much time constantly searching for changes in the wind. Feelings can be a woman's greatest asset. But sometimes it would be so sweet to know, and not be given reason to doubt. I know one person can't be everyone for someone, even a spouse, but I seek security and unconditional love in my home. This home is the only one I have for now. Jesus...please guide me. I don't know what following You or loving Jake looks like sometimes because it seems to contradict how I believe I should be loved according to your word. I don't want to be selfish. Please open my eyes and give me focus and persistance in the other areas of my life that need my attention, as well, so I can be all You want me to be, outside of my calling as a wife. I'm for real, Jesus. I don't want to be fake, and phony. Please reveal your will for my life and give me the strength to follow it. <3

2/6/17
What I said up there. It's all still true. It's been a year since I started logging my feelings and prayers here, and I am so tired. Physically and spiritually. He thinks I think I'm a saint. Well I know I'm not, that's one thing I know for sure. I see my ugly side poke through more than I'd like to admit and the fruit of self-control is one thing I could use more of. I know I have dark spots, and sometimes I'm overly emotional...but I do care. I care about the way things go down at the end of the day. I miss my parents very much these days- I've spent too much time apart from my Mom and I know I need to learn how to love her better. Not just endure her quirks but love them. She loves me well. So does my Dad. They have been my cheerleaders in all things, including this hard path, and for that I am so grateful. Jake doesn't know how much they have prayed over him, too. I am finding myself sitting at that dead end sign at the end of the dirt path and wondering- where the heck am I? How did we get here, and why am I all by myself? Or feel like I am? I know people don't want to overstep their boundaries, but in a time in which I cry myself sleepy in the bathtub and pray for a better tomorrow, I am praying someone would come alongside my husband and open his eyes. I am only one person. And while I know God hears my prayers, He knows what's best for me, and my prayers don't automatically warrant fulfillment based on my fervency. Cause I've been praying hard. HARD. And I still act like a human, imagine that. Am I just in denial? Praying for help tonight. More than just a listening ear.

2/18/17
Sunday. The day of rest. I feel like I'm going crazy- my mind thinks too many things, is unsure about too many things and all togethe

9/25(?)/17
"My Marriage Isn't Working and I Don't Know Why" aka, "My One Big Failure"
This little journal is almost two years old it would seem things aren't really as different as they were since the day I wrote that first post. I've tried Googling "dysfunctional Christian marriage" and a dozen articles related to acclamation to emotional distress in marriage but I don't ever really find what I'm looking for. What I'm looking for is a reality I'm not sure exists. I have had days and even weeks in my marriage where on top of the joy brought from other things in life, I have felt so fulfilled and blessed. I've seen glimpses of a life I just thought would never really be mine. On the other hand, I started taking the best prenatal vitamin I could find, only to stop taking it every other day when a bad fight would occur. I've dealt with the worst eczema I've EVER had in my life since early childhood and felt too depressed to even get up some days. I've grown closer to God and realized that not everyone who is close to you is equipped or even willing to help you. I've realized that certain platitudes that apply to marriages in general or simply those with the occasional road bump do NOT apply to me, and that if I need to call my Mom and tell her how miserable I am some days, God will forgive me. I have had my husband's support as I've grown stronger in the sport of Crossfit that has been my outlet and enjoyed competing beside one another. BUT. BUT. I don't know if I can do this anymore.

This book is getting too full. Of insults, harsh words. Things you can always say sorry for but can't ever really take back. Some days like today, I can't even stop myself from spilling over with anger. I am too full.  And unfortunately at this point, my anxiety relative to this relationship has begun to spill over into other relationships. I'm not all that great at small talk and I often find myself over thinking what I'm about to say. I know this man may love me, or at least think he does. But if that's the case...where does it all come from? "You tied your shirt like that just so people would look at your butt." Uh huh. "If you were more of an adult you wouldn't have a problem with the majority of things I say." Now that I think about it, I heard a lot of these things when we dated. Maybe the changes I think that have occurred haven't been all that grand.

I've talked to a few people who I thought may have been in my shoes, and received encouragement. Other times I've bared my soul or elicited advice from people I look up to and received no response. Thanks. I'm only dying on the inside.

Write it all down in a journal, they say. With what extra time? Meanwhile, my husband spends his free time playing an app on his phone. I don't think he's read a single article on marriage or even pensively prayed for us on his own time. I've never seen the look of pain in his eyes when he knows he's hurt me, outside of extreme examples, ones there's simply no way to argue. Something is not working here. And I can't leave. Or don't want to? Something is really broken and I can't fix it.

I think I said something to the affect earlier of..."I feel like I can't trust God or trust you because you're not listening to God ." I know this is going to sound crazy but...trusting God doesn't mean He is going to heal your marriage. It doesn't mean that the moment you truly LET GO there is a promise that this miraculous work of healing will happen within your spouse's heart. "Letting go" sounds great and spiritual and helpful but really that just means you stop trying to be an advocate for yourself. And the house gets really quiet. And your husband doesn't look you in the eye. And you wait. And wait. And then you finally break again. Because he's totally okay. And by this point, the initial argument was so long ago, he can hardly remember what is is that happened. Which works out great for him but sucky for you. And you just feel really alone and like there's no answer to this big question. And you're trying to do documentation for work and to the outside, you just seem super unproductive and inefficient. When really your heart is breaking, and you have no way to explain to the people who actually want to help what any of these situations truly look and feel like. Cause when you lay it out on the table your sinful reactions are there, too. And it makes it look so MUTUAL. And well, there's always blame to share. Sure there is. But sometimes there's not.

"You just don't know how to act like a normal person."
"Glad you don't give a FUCK about your car or tires, just run over the speed bump, etc."
"The tire's messed up! Holy crap. What does it take to get it into your head/why do I have to say it 50 times..."

Blameshifting: Oh so it's not a big deal when you cuss...

10/30/17
How do you pull the trigger? How do you pull the trigger on something that brings you immense joy and happiness and simultaneously makes you want to scream? How do you do it? Do you do it with your fingers shaking and your eyes overflowing? How do you end a marriage for the sake of your mental and physical health even though truly, you don't want it to end?

When there's no money left for counseling, and the choice is before you and no one can really tell you which way to turn, which way do you go? Down the easiest path- the path that tempts you with 'but there's always hope', or, "At least you'll still get to enjoy the good things,"? So, so, so, tempting. Temptingly reasonable. Or the route that feels reactionary, the path that will take an already hard situation and make it even harder. So much harder. The path with a million more decisions that have to be made. The path that is filled with scary days where you don't know what the other person is doing. If they're moving on. The path filled with daily temptations to call the whole thing off because it hurts too badly. The path in which you walk alone after being one with someone else for years on end. That path scares me enough that all I can do is peek down it. I don't know what's at the end but if I had to guess, based on current resources and feelings, it doesn't look lovely. It looks like me at 28 back where I started. Starting over. And it hurts, even now.

11/1/17
I want a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside. I want peace. I want softness. I want kindness. Dependable kindness. Compassion. Safety. Peace. I want my skin to heal. I want my mind to heal. I want to embody the person God has made me to be. Not the person struggling to keep up. We all go through difficult seasons and it's not that I think those with great marriages don't struggle with peace at times, or stress. All I know is I could open shop with the amount of cortisol my body produces on a weekly basis. Enough. No matter which way the flood gates go, whatever that means, whether we rise or are buried...enough.
'
here we go
if you keep up with the bullshit attitude
i use the word damn
oh okay now we can cuss
if you keep running your fucking mouth
you always know how to ruin the night/make it a great night
storms out to the car w a drink
just make it a great week, typically

11/7
And something inside me started to hurt.

11/21
I'm really sorry to me. I'm really sorry I made excuses and tried to play the hero.

12/3
You know what feeling feels bad? When it's been a long time since you've laughed. Or had a fun conversation in your own home.

12/5
You don't hurt someone you love or cause damage to your relationship and then get to act annoyed to have to deal with the consequences, or even worse, choose to completely ignore how your actions affected other people. You own your crap in a relationship or it is not truly a relationship you are a part of but rather one that you exercise your free will as you please and let others clean up the mess. You no longer hold stakes or own shares in this thing that you claim to want to survive, because you are doing damage to it, but more importantly, doing damage to it without remorse or willingness to do your part.

4/16
How do I want to feel?
valued. worth it. treasured. strong. fiercely firm in my convictions. not looking back. patient. trusting. safe.

4.28
this is so annoying. i am tired. i am soooooooooooooooo tired. so tired. so tired. so tired. too tired to make food. too tired to lint roll my bed.

9.16.18
Man. It's a little bit of a reality check coming back to this space to voice feelings of sadness and seeing the pain I was in and the things that were happening. I'm in the initial stages of this divorce (I guess, I have yet to be "formally" notified, that is, legally) and while I hesitate to use the word "heartbroken" (because, do I really want to let this break me further, albeit in different ways, along different cracks/lines?) but it's a very real ache in my soul. What this came down to be. I'm not 100% sure I sugarcoated it all. All I know is addiction stole something from me. And something from us. In a world where my spouse could've understood the love I had for him, and let himself be vulnerable to the point of breaking. To love me as deep as he vowed to. We could've been...(fill in the blank). Maybe it's not even worth saying, since A is not true. I see all of the time I logged working at this relationship. I just thought I had someone who saw me, in the midst of the bs. He saw me. He appreciated our differences. Appreciated I wasn't afraid to tell him the truth. Wasn't going to be mean but wasn't going to pretend things were okay when they weren't. Appreciated my humor. My femininity and my strength. Why I wasn't worth the fight, is pointless to consider. Because I know I AM. I have never felt more myself and less like myself in this marriage. How can that be? My soul aches feeling like I lost the man who loved me through and through. But when I look at the facts - I see contradicting evidence of that. All humanly love has limits. But this was a MESS.

It's time for me to take stock of all the evidence so I can begin believing that maybe, just maybe, someone is out there praying for me right now. And that I will one day be a wife again, and a mother. I can't quite let myself focus on those things or hope for them now. Because the prayer in my heart is still that God would work a miracle within these 60 days. But I'm rooted in reality and the facts at the end of the day, and I know God will only allow what is best for me at then end of the day.

10/30/18
It's starting to feel like things are coming full circle. I am planning to submit my response to the divorce since I still haven't been legally notified, and in general, I am feeling both the deepest sadness and the deepest hope. I still call him my husband because he is, and my heart does not want to forget it and can still remember as clear as day what it's like to call him during the work day or ask him to help with something. I've kept my distance but have oddly asked for his help a time or two then laughed to myself about why I would do that. I don't forsee him changing his mind but I know now that may be the best thing. Miracles happen, and if it did, I would accept it with joy. But my mind is starting to turn to a new hope. And over time I know my heart will get on board.

11/3/18
I think one of the hardest things about divorce is feeling like you lost "your person". Even if that person ended up to be someone completely different, someone that abandoned you in the one pursuit you're supposed to be guaranteed to not end up alone in- you've lost your partner in crime. Everything was more fun with them. At least on a "good" day. I'm missing my person to drink moonshine with. To get drunk and say silly things with. But only certain silly things. To workout and eat with. To sit around and share memes with. And that's thing, you can do those things with anyone but it's about who you're sharing them with, not the actual activity you're engaged in. The person you could throw a side eye and they'd know just what you were thinking. The person you could rope into helping you make a boring task fun. I have people, but it's just not the same. I can see the challenge it is going to be again one day as an officially single person in not only not wasting my own time but other people's. I feel like in a way my husband is on a trip and I'm just waiting for him to come home. Except he told me he's not. So what else am I going to do? I just feel stuck in this routine of my week, and although I love the people I interact with on a regular basis, I'm aware of the limitations of those friendships/relationships. I. need. something. new. Or I need to remind myself every moment that Christ is sufficient for me. I have been navigating loneliness for the past six months and still have a month and a half to go before I'm really free to pursue anything romantic. Day by day we get there. Day by day of waking up and reminding myself Christ is sufficient for me. Day by day, giving myself grace, allowing myself to make mistakes. Forgiving myself for where I just fall short, for the temptations I try but ultimately fail to win in my fight against. I am only human. It's just hard sometimes.

11/16/18
I HOPE...that I will not be in physical pain today from my period.
I NEED...to compartmentalize my responsibilities for greater clarity. I need to accept what is, not what I wish was.
I CAN...be productive even if not maximally so.
I COULD...take a few minutes for myself this morning to organize my thoughts.
I WANT TO...see the movie Instafamily over Thanksgiving.
I SEE THAT...I am not always going to be the best version of myself, and that is okay.
I'M DISAPPOINTED THAT...I won't have a second family to spend time with this holidays.
I WONDER IF...it's possible for me to meet someone at church who would share my same passions and personality quirks aside from the Lord.
I'M THANKFUL...for parents who want to bless me.
RIGHT NOW I NEED TO REMEMBER...its just a day.

3/11/19
Currently processing a lot of raw, real emotions. I don't think I'm tired/this is an outpouring of exhaustion. I finally took a halt and have forced myself to do nothing when I could be doing something and I think some of the sadness which I thought I worked through, that had actually just gotten wedged tightly between some cracks on its way to the surface is coming through. Sadness. Random bouts of tears as I mourn for the love I've gained and lost, even for the short-lived new beginnings I've gained and lost since December. Just because you allow yourself to cry one time over something doesn't mean you've processed something to completion. With my birthday tomorrow I am longing for warmth. I want to make warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies with someone and talk about nothing and then watch something stupid. I hold back from reaching out to the people I'm trying to let go of. I show self-control and consideration to others for the decisions they've made, about me, about our relationship. And I show compassion to myself for all the things I have done and am doing well and in the things I continue to work on. I respect the PROCESS that letting go is and my expectations of myself to be "over it already". I open myself up to the possibility that someone could learn me inside and out again. Someone would want to spend the time. Some would love my weirdness that I would also love. That I would never have to fight for love or question love again. When it comes to human love this seems like somewhat an improbability. But maybe I could let myself believe it just MIGHT. be possible.

4/2
I miss you a lot. And I don't know how long it will take to find someone like you.

4/11
If I could talk to you I'd tell you I felt really out of place and excluded at the gym this morning. I'd tell you that I can't stop crying and I don't know why. I don't know if it's being hungover, or overwhelmed, or what it is. I cried at the thought of having an office job today where I can meet and interact with new people. That seems like the opposite of normal. I just ate a bag of organic Cheetos that were terrible and 3/4 a pizza and am kind of mad at myself for it. Dating is both fun and exhausting. It's also expensive. And I'm spending too much money.

Cry because you feel left out
Cry because nothing changes
Cry because he left
Cry because you can't figure it out
Cry because you're worn out
Cry because your backyard is overgrown
And cry because you're trying your hardest but very little feels like home.


I'd tell you that I don't think I can talk to you anymore. I'm exhausted. I wish this was easy. I don't think you have any intention of seeing this through and quite frankly I like you too much to just be your friend. At times I think I can so I try but. It's just not working.

5/6
This can only end badly.

5/10
I had no idea that despite the positives dating would feel like a million of tiny rejections. Reminders that if monogomy is the game, there's only one winning lottery ticket. One.

I wrote a lot of lunch notes.

8.4
It didn't turn out to be what I thought it was. And that is the hardest thing.
The things I pushed, and leaned in, and leaned out for.
Everything I do, even this requires me to use words and my brain just isn't working.
I'm so tired of adjusting to fit every personality, every social interaction.
I'm tired of not feeling like myself.
I'm not tired of seeing his name on my phone but I'm tired of it reminding me what isn't. What didn't happen. The outcome I wanted and didn't get.
I'm tired of telling myself he was what i wanted or needed or (present tense). because if he didn't stay, he wasn't.

I did every fucking thing.
Everything I could.

9.22
Week 3. This feels like a weird bad dream, and yet a good dream at the same time. I got my endorphins back today after nearly tailspinning into another pint of ice cream Saturday midday. I still get all wist-ful and tbh I vacilate between feeling completely OVER everything and then completely overwhelmed by the loss of everything the next. Usually triggered by music. I may stay away from obvious feel-jerkers this week. The holidays will be hard for me until this hole in my chest is filled. I can be whole and still have a family-shaped hole in my heart. I yearn for the traditions, the familiar smells. Not the same ones, but the comfort of those things that is etched in my memory. I know those beautiful things were interspersed with a lot of unacceptable pain. I've revisited more of those memories the past month than usual, maybe with the advent of the holidays/Fall and losing someone very meaningful in my life topped it all off. This week I plan to make small goals to build off the big ones I've made. It's time to start fine-tuning.

Personal:
- 7 days of not checking up on Twitter.
- Turning songs when they draw up negative emotion or sadness. I've let myself work through a lot and cry a lot when I needed to the past week. I don't want to give these situations more of my tears or energy unnecessarily.

Fitness:
- 5 days of programming, hit at 6am so I can focus on speech rest of the day.
- Logging MFP as I go M-F.
- Yoga 4 days.

Work:
- Notes logged daily.
- Kylyn device trial app. submitted by Friday.


12/19/2019
It is what it is. And sometimes what it is, is bullshit. I've done my best to play the role of space-giver. "Sorry for fcking up your life."

12.25.2019
When I was married but going through hard times, I wouldn't even let my Mom speak about a possible future (of me) with someone else. I pushed back at it hard. Even now, when I read words insinuating that perhaps this had to start and end, to put to rest the "what ifs", and bless me with magical moments even in the pain of realization that this is not my future, I push back. It makes me angry. I'm angry because I feel like I played a role in someone else's story, rather them playing a role in mine. Like I was a supporting cast member, now cast to the side. I am so so angry. And so so hurt. Even though I knew the chances. I'm also angry for men not willing to be in touch with their own emotions at least enough at a level to prevent the presentation of false hope. I guess there was never any insinuation of commitment but. There was the insinuation that I mattered. And now it feels like I don't and that doesn't feel fair. I do matter. I just don't know if I can do this, again. I made two, almost three very deep connections this year and I lost them all. Those people are FINE. If they think of me, or wonder if they did the right thing, I'm none the wiser. It makes me ANGRY that they are fine. It makes me angry that they so easily have walked away from something that mattered. Bryce texting me Merry Christmas because he can cause its EASY. Dustin perhaps the exception. But he still moved on. As selfish as he was in our friendship/relationship I am happy for him. He is the only person I have really imagined at family dinners, shaking my Dad's hand. Aviery briefly but that's too distant of a pipe dream to even let my mind begin to fabricate more than an outine of that picture.

What am I going to do? Well for one, I'm going to at least apply one sure thing I've learned and that's TAKE IT EASY in the physical dept.

3.13.20
Am I allowed to have gut feelings about someone? Is it possible that it's not just a trigger, that perhaps this time around I'm actually more healthily attuned to when someone is not showing up for me? And warning signs are going off. At the end of the day, no one else has spent the time w/ that person that I have. I'm allowed to have feelings. And I owe myself at least the consideration that I'm possibly very right.

4.21.20
real fears
That as soon as I get attached to or buy into the idea of someone, and think I know who they are, they will reveal themselves to be someone else.
I think the hard thing is I seem "enough" to someone in the beginning.

4/27
Sometimes when I think about what I went through at the end of 2019 I want to crawl in a hole. I don't want to do it anymore. Everyone I gave a shit about left. They weren't being honest with themselves, and definitely weren't being honest with me. I got drug into some shit. By the time I realized what had happened, and I could see that there was an end to this vision of happiness I had bought into, and I said fuck it. Either way I was gonna lose. So I enjoyed it while it lasted.

I don't know if there is a future with me and someone else. I don't know if there is an "us". I don't know if that's in the cards. I just don't feel like I can judge with any reasonable certainty anymore how people feel about me in the beginning. I don't want to gamble anymore.

6/11
When I think about the cold
Or that coffee shop
Or how nervous I was that morning
I want to smash things
I want to scream at you about how you messed up a good thing
But I think what I most want to say is to me
I'm sorry that people who weren't ready for love made you even for a second
Question whether it was about you being worth loving


8/12

The people that aren't right for you aren't always the people you expect them to be. They're not the clueless ones. They care about you and care for you. They build you flower boxes and introduce you to their friends. They mention you to their mothers. And they still do not know how not ready they are for you. It makes you angry, and you have a right to be. 

8/15

I'm not sure where I go from here. It's wild that we're almost a year out from when I stepped out bravely on my own and starting learning how to say- this is not for me. I've gotten very good at saying that. Once this year I dared to say the opposite- this is for me. I want this. I'm proud of me for leaning into that and asking for it. Even though I didn't get it. I'm proud and thankful of the relationship I built and experience of meeting a man who accepted my needs and did his best to meet them. Didn't bite back in the face of my pain. I'm grateful. Still sad but grateful. 

I cry big tears out of nowhere. Loneliness is a big deep well. I don't know where the tears come from anymore after so much time. I still think of certain people every day, and pine for people who are not for me, every other. I let go, and reluctantly return messages in an effort to pursue the life I want. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the girl that's long over it. I think I am over it. Just ready. 

8/17

I felt like I had failed. I had been stubborn in love and was paying for it. I had already cashed in my coin. Maybe what I've been grieving the past two years is as much the love I lost but the death of I thought love was. Stepping into a gray world where people still have to fight to choose their partner daily, to resist the urge.

Lookin out for the courage 

To face reality 

I'm lookin out for you

Are you lookin out for me?

10.19.20

Operation Enough is Enough

Today I: 

Ate lunch I packed

Didn't eat dinner out

Bought coffee close to work

Time to: 

Be creative

Be outside

Take care of myself physically to allow my body to heal (hair regrow, inflammation lower) 

Build new social connections

Do nothing. 

Income source with minimal stress

11/3/21

So many years catalogued in this diary. Looking back I see how much my decision to stay in an unhealthy situation affected me and continues to affect me. Not in a "not over it" way, but in a way that has made me jaded and tempts me to doubt good people. Good people are still human, I am still human. It's hard for me to believe that any one person is capable of/wants to hold all of me. A part of me feels like that desire is what normal, monogamous intimacy is comprised of. The "just be open" rhetoric tells me, of course one person can't fulfill all your needs. Yeah but. Some people seem really happy. I am happy, in a lot of ways. But I also still don't know and that's hard. I am in relationship-children-settled down life limbo. And while I'm "okay" most of the time, I also feel like I'm sitting on the edge of my seat. A part of me has accepted what is so much to the extent that I have stopped dreaming. I don't want to stop dreaming. I don't want to deny parts of who I am and what I need after the experiences I've gone through. I deserved to be loved so so fully. I have put in so much work to love. And I'm tired. Can I let myself be loved? I was about to say that I can trust my ability to be lonely again and not want to die. Truthfully though, I am not far enough out from this summer yet to feel that. I worry about latching onto Joseph so tight because of how far down that pit of loneliness went. I simply cannot entertain the idea of returning there. Maybe right now I simply have compassion for that fear. It was a hard summer. I am so grateful for the light and to have made it to the other side. 

love if you go

I wont chase you down 

glad you came my way 

but I hope that you stay 

12/20

Some of us are so used to wanting and always coming up short

we have taken whatever people can offer us, that now we're always bargaining for the best offer

clutching my coin purse full of affection I've hoarded

my fingers white holds it close to me so that it can't be snatched away

I indulge in a treat now and then

just a little love

wow, it is so sweet

but not meant to had everyday

it'll rot your teeth

if i don't buy it piece by piece

i'll spend my life savings

and that

is too risky

I examine everything

has it been tampered with?

This is not supreme 

I only spend my money on perfect things 

it's not the way to live

but I don't know how else to be

12/10/22

I don't want to cry in the coffee shop. 

Crying won't help anything. The excessively big chocolate chunk cookie did not, either. I'm filled with the tired frustration that only comes with sleep deprivation plus scenarios which occur outside the capabilities of foresight. 

I don't want to put my head down in the coffee shop. 

Who falls asleep in a coffee shop? 

I could. 

1/1/26

36, 37 in three months. Ten years since I started writing here. I’m hungover and trying to hold in my tears because there is nothing I haven’t already cried about. This is the year I feel like I 100%, have to either find a life partner or decide to move forward with solo parenting. The idea of being pregnant is so sweet but also comes with grief feeling like I am trading falling in love for that experience. No one wants me now, who would see me pregnant and think, that’s her! I’m starting to accept how old I am. 25 year-olds still hit on me at the bar and I still get carded but I FEEL every indent on my face. 2024 was the year I crieddd. And the result of that was a furrow between my brow that is present even at rest, almost to signify my perpetual angst. Of course I’m going to get Botox. But I can’t deny- I am in my mid-thirties. This is where we are, and this is where I have to stand tall. I can front squat 235#, and move 155# from the ground to overhead. I got a new job after (apparently) struggling unnecessarily in home health without health insurance, without consistent income and without any kind of break or vacation. I’m starting to pay off some debts and have learned how to use credit cards. I’m grateful. Looking back on this journal, I’m also grateful for the moments in which I could finally admit, looking back- that something was not all that I thought it was. I fought those changes in perspective though, and I think that’s very normal and something I still continue to do. In 2026, maybe the goal is to accept where I’m at on this earth. Be where my feet are. Make the choices that make sense for me today. 

Using Spaced Retrieval/Delayed Imitation to Foster Learning in Pediatric SLP

If you're a geriatric/adults SLP, you're probably familiar with the concept of "spaced retrieval". Even as pediatric SLPs, however, we sometimes use this technique (most often unconsciously) to develop a child's ability to independently respond to questions. Most frequently, it just looks like drill or repetition of a concept:

Ex.:
SLP: "Where is the frog swimming?"
Child: No response.
SLP: "In the water!"
Child: "In the water."
SLP: "Where is he swimming?"
Child: "In the water."

So the child is exposed to the question and then answer, after which they are typically able to answer "independently", although the truth is they are answering in delayed imitation. Which is fine, totally great! I wanted to explain how I used the technique of spaced retrieval/delayed imitation for a 3-year old today who has been unable to name objects on command for quite awhile, despite the fact that she responds appropriately to directions to interact with said items and her imitation skills are intact. It's almost as if her short-term memory or retrieval abilities are somewhat delayed. Typically, or previously, our verbal interactions looked like this:

Me: "What's this?"
Child: "What's this?"
Me: "Cow."
Child: "Cow."
Me: "What's this?"
Child: "What's this?"

Working on vocabulary development with animal friends.

As you can see, this interaction is different from above in that she was not able to hold onto the semantic content long enough to respond appropriately to my question. I should note I'm making this assumption based on the fact that she is not "echolalic" in the true sense or in any other context as well as the fact that I know her comprehension skills are much higher than her expressive language abilities. Today, I utilized the technique of spaced retrieval/delayed imitation. Essentially, we repeat the question/answer format 2-3 times, quickly. Any significant pausing will impact her ability to respond correctly in delayed imitation.

Me: "What's this? (quickly) Cow (stressed). What's this?"
Child: "What's this?"
Me: "Cow."
Me: (quickly) "What's this?"
Child: *thinking* "Cow!"
Me: "Cow!" (pat on the back, visual excitement/verbal reinforcement).

We did this exchange for the majority of our noun targets today. I found that as time went on, we only had to go through the question/answer sequence about 2 times, and at this point, I started using more spaced retrieval to encourage her to hold the word longer in her short term memory. It looked like this:

Me: "Cow. (stressed) What's this? (quickly)"
Child: "Cow."
Me: pause 1-2 seconds..."What's this?"
Child: *thinking* "Cow!"
Me: "Cow!" (pat on the back, visual excitement/verbal reinforcement).

My hope is that the longer we continue using this spaced retrieval format, I will not have to go through the question/answers more than 1X (as in the example at the top) and can gradually add time to my second prompt to increase her semantic memory until finally she *learns* the name of the object and is able to label independently or following a WH- question.

Tell me: do you see delayed imitation skills as part of the learning hierachy for vocabulary? Have you used "spaced retrieval" with kids on your caseload recently? Chime in in the comments below.

Until next time,
L.L.

Falling Back Into The Groove

falling back into the groove (for lack of a quirkier title)...

speechlovetx.blogspot.com

Whew. It's really been a minute since I've taken the time to blog, but something about having the house to myself, four cuddly cats, and a vanilla sweet cream cold brew from Starbucks is making me want to write. So here we are. Hi everyone out there! I started this blog in the Spring of 2014 when I was a single, newly- licensed SLP driving an hour + back and forth each day as part of my home-health gig, and here in 2016 I am a married cat mama of four ridiculous little ones (see picture below) still working in home-health (with a company I love) and driving a whole lot less, thankfully. I'm now supervising and while that has been an adjustment it has been a welcome challenge. If I decide to continually update this blog, it may be gradually punctuated by more personal posts or I may start a completely new blog for that purpose all together.

when you try to take a family photo
but the kids start fighting on your lap.

So September. I always get so excited when Fall hits because ironically I have more Halloween therapy materials than for any other season. It's just such a language-rich time and there are so many verbs to describe the season with- scare! rake! jump!. I love it. I have to say though, I do want to take advantage of this time before Halloween truly hits and just enjoy the transition. We miss it so many times, in our excitement for October when the chilly air finally hits in Texas and it truly feels like Fall. This morning I blasted myself with cold AC in the car just to simulate the experience. And it worked. lol But I really think there is beauty in this in-between time when there's some warmth to the air but you're just getting a glimpse of changing colors and it's almost in your grasp. Gah.

So this month I will be trying to find some early Fall activities that are more "school-starting" and less Halloween-y for the time being. If you missed it, I have an awesome "Fall Choice Trees" product which is essentially a First-Then board that looks like a tree with the choices being leaves, and contains both English and Spanish versions. Check it out if you care to.

What I'm loving this month so far...

Drink: Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew. Duh.
Therapy Toy: I'm really digging books, ya'll. I know, groundbreaking. But I love seeing how the kid attempts to "read" me the story before implement some verbal scripts and then after a week the language that they use to describe the pictures. I like to tell parents to read their children books using the same language each time and then turn the book around and say, "Now you tell me the story," giving hints with small words such as, "And then..."
Therapy App: Oh boy. I haven't bought many apps lately. I use Articulation Station a ton though and the My PlayHome app for language scripting and everything in between.
Therapy Activity: I enjoy using this backpack coloring page for a cut-and-paste this time of year using artic pictures:

Get it here!

And that's all I've got for now. Besides a couple of evals I might be putting off by writing this post...:)

Until next time,
LL

Puerto Rican vs. Mexican Spanish

This will probably be a semi-short post but I wanted to take a second and comment on something interesting I have been looking into the past week; that is, the importance of identifying the home dialect of any non-English speaking clients. You know it's important to identify whether the child is bilingual, but in the case of many languages, dialects MATTER!

An example: I recently started seeing a new 4-year old friend in Spanish who had goals written for plurals. In informal conversation and play, I noticed final /s/ omissions and some gliding (/l/ for /r/), as well. Ironically, in some instances she used the plural form appropriately and in others did not. After speaking with her mother, I noticed that the mother was also not only deleting final /s/ in some instances but was demonstrating other atypical sound substitutions, like /l/ for /r/.

Hold on a second here. "Where is your family from originally?" I asked. "Puerto Rico."

Ah HA!

Okay people. Here's the thing. Phonemic inventories and sound patterns can and do often vary across dialects. After going home and doing a little research and digging into my old linguistics textbooks, I realized that this child probably doesn't need a goal for plurals (but I will give a receptive ID test to check for comprehension). She is just a speaker of Puero Rican Spanish. I don't see many of these on my caseloads, as most of my kiddos speak the Mexican dialect.

Here are some helpful sound distinctions of Puerto Rican Spanish to be aware of:

Although this rang a bell for me from undergrad I definitely needed a refresher! What kinds of dialectical variations of Spanish are you finding on your caseload?

Scrambled Sentences! {no prep therapy}

If you're like me, you love therapy activities that require minimal to no prep, especially on Fridays! I wanted to share one of my favorite go-to language activities called "Scrambled Sentences". All you need is a piece of paper and a pen!

This activity can be used to target the following goals:

- Sentence structure; (duh)

- Judging whether a sentence is grammatically correct or not;

- Expanding basic sentences using modifiers and the like;

- Tense and other parts of grammar;

- Sight word recognition; AND

- Articulation practice depending on your choice of words

This activity works best for children kindergarten and up who at least are beginning to decode words and utilize sight words for reading. The first-grader I use this activity with loves using his emerging literacy skills and I will usually prompt non-frequent words after allowing him to attempt to decode the word initially. You could also do this activity using Boardmaker pictures cut up and scrambled for non-readers. :)

All you do is simply:

1) Write a sentence on your paper containing either language or articulation targets and then tear off the words one by one. 

2) Allow the kiddo to "shake, shake, shake!" them up in their hand and then let them re-order the words into a complete sentence. In the picture above I used sentences to help my friend describe his day at school using past tense words. After we order the sentence correctly we usually read it through 1-3 more times.

That's it! It's like a puzzle you can make on the fly and it really gets kid's brains thinking on multiple levels. Hope someone else can make this activity work for them!

Things I Swore I'd Do With My "Free" Time Tonight

*Taps mic* Is this thing on? *squeal*

Oh. Alright well I guess you guys can still hear me! Google has been sending me pleasant emails notifying me that I'm still acquiring new readers to this blog despite my absence and well, I'm flattered. And slightly embarrassed. I swore I'd write a new blog post soon. I swore I'd make and take pictures of my new creation, "Fall Choice Trees", to use with my kiddos in therapy and to show you guys here.

It's a set of leaves with various "choices" in both English and Spanish kids can add, remove, or choose from their "tree". It's cute. It's autumn-y. It's...something I still haven't gotten around to doing.

Not that anyone is dying for any explanation, but recently not only have I moved but I am recently engaged to the love of my life and am a bride-to-be!:) So excite. 

Surprise surprise!

I actually painted the nails on only my left hand to take this picture. (No shame.)

Mr. L and the soon-to-be Mrs. L :)

 And of course, what's an engagement without a showing of the best wedding movie ever, "Father of the Bride". So we did that.

Tonight though, I told myself I'd come home from work and DO something. AKA, more work. HA.

This included the following:

- Do the dishes in the sink! My fiance lovingly packed most of it for me while I was gone, except for the silverware, which when I asked him why not, he claimed because it's "miscellaneous". I love him and he's hilarious.

- Fill out the rest of my August paperwork and send emails!

- Hang my degrees up on the wall in the new office!

- Take a shower and re-apply my fake tan to diminish the appearance that I haven't been to the gym in weeks! Which I haven't.

- Look up wedding venues!

- Re-paint my nails!

- Spend time cuddling with Mr. L! (the only thing that got done). 

Amazingly, writing this blog post wasn't on my mental list, but it got done, too. I've had a migraine all day and well, it's felt pretty good to get words out on this page and shout "hi" over the canyon of the SLP blogging world. Hi. Thanks for sticking around if you're reading this. And I hope the new school year is treating you well!

Stay tuned for some new SLP posts. I've got content, I swear.

I can't be alone here- what did YOU swore you'd do tonight that didn't get done? I promise not to tell.